Very few clients I see love the idea of having to schedule sex to ensure it has a place in their relationship. It certainly isn’t a glamorous idea…Not at face value. Regardless, many couples and partnerships struggle to find time or energy (whether physical or emotional) to engage in sex play by the end of a long work day. Most people (especially in Seattle) are busy these days. Work, errands, parenting responsibilities, friends, work, family, volunteer opportunities, finding time for fun, and work all can unintentionally take priority over physical intimacy. Everything else becomes a priority. Did I mention work?…
While it can be challenging, there is no reason to follow any social rule about how sex “should be” in a relationship. 
Few individuals, couples, and partnerships want to admit they feel too exhausted for any sex play. Scheduling a time for sex can provide an open forum for diverse sexual play. Additionally, it can provide a time during the week for novel sexual exploration, giving each partner a turn to bringing something new to the sexual buffet. Many people struggle with the notion of losing sexual spontaneity, and having another calendar item to schedule during the week.
Contrary to common concerns, having a predictable time where sexual play is guaranteed can keep sex on the mind when it might not otherwise be. Often, one planned time and space can help inspire additional spontaneous sex throughout the week. Additionally, creating an opportunity to rid the relationship of anxiety, stress, disappointment, or the feeling of failure around not having regular sex can create space for building further safety around initiating sex (especially if initiation has been infrequent or challenging).
