Thinking back on all of the individuals, couples/partnerships, and families I’ve seen and worked with in the past decade, I’ve noticed a consistent trend. No matter the content of the case, what brings someone into my office, or their presenting problem, their goals always boil down to one thing: living an authentic life.
Regardless of what someone’s relationship or sexual preferences look like, in the end, they almost always want to be accepted and celebrated for being who they are, especially by those they love. This prospect can feel like fighting the tide. Social and cultural norms are often out of line with who we are or would prefer to be.
I tell clients regularly that they are the most “normal” people I know, and it’s true. The individuals that frequent my office are intentional and genuine people choosing their paths in the most preferable ways possible…being more authentic. It may seem rantish, soap-boxy or cliché, but being comfortable with who you are and celebrating your uniqueness rather than letting others convince you that you are odd, weird, or pathological (especially if there is no clinical pathology present) is a phenomenally masterful skill these days.
Plenty of situations get us down on ourselves, or we try to change who we are to make everyone around us comfortable. But, at the end of the day, finding community and partnerships where you can be genuine is paramount. Working toward solving the problems that bring you/your partner(s) to therapy happens best and most effectively if you have this type of dynamic present in your relationship, where those around you know you at your core…and love you for it.
—More on this topic to come—